This I Know

Its been a little over 3 months since I last wrote a post. I usually only write when I feel led too. Since my Aunt died I just haven't really had anything come to mind that was worthy of writing about. I am not depressed.. I don't have writer's block.. I just haven't had anything to put down. Even now I struggle to find words to describe what I am feeling/ going through. 

 Last week just days after having my thyroid removed I found out that the results are cancerous. This put me right back in the hospital for another surgery to remove the other half which also showed to have cancer in it. 

I have a good prognosis so far and will have radioactive iodine in a few weeks. First I will have to try to survive without artificial thyroid hormone or a thyroid for a few weeks. It is good to get my TSH numbers up so that the radioactive iodine will be most effective in killing out all remaining thyroid cells. If you need more info on thyroid cancer and treatments you can check it out Here .

Right now I have been healing from surgery. Sore from incision sight. Especially since they had to re-open it. It is very tight at incision. Constricting movement of my neck.. mouth and chest. I have had pain in yawning, sneezing, coughing, eating swallowing..you can imagine. Also pain in my inner throat from being intubated during surgeries. All in all these things are getting much better and just  five days out from my second surgery I am only taking Tylenol. YAY me! The problem is the rise of the pesky TSH levels.  I feel hot then cold... sweating then freezing. Feeling very sluggish and sleepy. Tingly and strange.  I know it will all be worth it when I get this behind me in a month or so.

I guess we are still in shock about the cancer word. I guess maybe it hasn't set in yet.  I am a little worried but what good does that do. 

So I stick to what I know.. I stick to what I have learned in my life.

I know these things.

I know: NO MATTER what the LORD is in control of all things and we are not. There is no use in lashing out in fear or anger. There is no need in asking why? because somethings we just will never know until we meet Him face to face. 

I know: That HE has good planned for me. (Jeremiah 29:11)  Sometimes it may be along time before we see the good. BUT we have a promise in God's word that He knows the plans He has for us.. and that He works all things for good. (Romans 8:28) It might not feel like it or we might not think it but we have to trust truth and what we feel and think are not truths.

I know: That He is God and I am not. I see a lot of posts lately on social media giving some kind of praise and glory to 'the universe' . God Himself created the universe and all that is in it. HE alone deserves my praise. Whenever I complain because things are not the way I want them to be.. or when I feel like 'I shouldn't be going thru this because...' I think about these incredible verses in

Ezekiel chapter 1:26-28

^"26 Now above the expanse that was over their heads there was something resembling a throne, like ^[x]lapis lazuli in appearance; and on that which resembled a throne, high up, was a figure with the appearance of a man. ²⁷ Then I ^[y]noticed from the appearance of His loins and upward something like ^[z]glowing metal that looked like fire all around within it, and from the appearance of His loins and downward I saw something like fire; and there was a radiance around Him. ²⁸ As the appearance of the rainbow ^[aa]in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the appearance of the surrounding radiance. Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. And when I saw it, I fell on my face and heard a voice speaking."

I am so reminded about who God truly is and that life sometimes, well most all of the time is not about Mollie and what I can get out of it. I am very quick to use my mouth or my attitude to argue my point but in thinking of these verses... I think when I am there...standing at the throne.. I will just shut my mouth and worship and know , like the old hymn says 'whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,  It is well, it is well with my soul. '

I Know: That God will use this in someone's life at some point. That EVERYTHING has a reason and a purpose.
Everything.
I am praying someone will give praise to God thru this.. someone who has dismissed Him in their life will surely call out to Him. I pray that He will forgive me for ever questioning who He is or His plans. I pray for others reading this to put their faith in a God who really cares, really sees and is really compassionate towards us. So much so that He gave His only Son. ( John 3:16) 

These things I know do not mean I will lay down and die. Does not mean that I will give up because what's the use in trying.. no!
God came that we might have a relationship with Him and have life abundantly.  I will be the first to tell you how sweet it is.  That nothing compares to the life I have in Him.. sick or not sick. I have a peace that passes all understanding!

So I am doing good. I have peace. I have strength. It comes from what I know. I ask you do you have that same peace and strength? What are you going thru? Message me. I would love to pray with you and for you. I hope that you will follow my journey this month as I deal with whatever the day brings. Love you sweet friend!